Gnomes are evil. I'm serious. Look at them. With their big red noses, little hands, pointy hats, and boots. Nothing good can come from looking at a gnome. It may be just porcelain, but LOOK at it. I swear, that there's some mind of some kind inside, something implanted in the brain by a suicidal artist who wants to kill mankind that will curse you.
Anyway, my boss decided it would be "nice" to have gnome visit our desks for three to five days. No, this wasn't supposed to be punishment for a misbehaving, it was to acknowledge a job well done. And of course, my walkabout partner, Krista, decided to gift me with this evil creature that someone had enough audacity to nickname Hans. Seriously, the gnome is named Hans.
So I had to sit and stare at Hans for three days. Actually, that's a lie. I was lucky to get Hans when my boss was out of town, so he got scooted to the corner of my desk where my computer tower hid his evil, red, glowing, waiting-to-curse-me eyes.
But, now I have proof of the evilness of gnomes!
Someone was killed with a gnome. Seriously!
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,407283,00.html
And yet another scary video of a gnome
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article902014.ece
There you have it.
I'm heading a movement - the abolish all gnomes movement. No, its not persecution. No, gnomes are not misunderstood. We have to get rid of them.
GET RID OF THEM
AS
SOON
AS
POSSIBLE!
Are you with me! You better be!
Or a gnome will curse you and you bits and pieces will shrivel and dry. Seriously.
