Yet anyway.
My Internet has been out of commission. And I know my boss wouldn't like it if I used my company computer to keep in contact with the few people out there who read this. Anyway, in the past few weeks that I have been incommunicado, several key convo/phrases have cropped up.
Convo 1:
Andrea: So is Manny [Ramirez] suspended?
Kevin: Yeah, for 50 days.
Andrea: Why? He was only taking birth control.
[silence]
Erin: He was taking something like viagra because he couldn't get it up.
Andrea: Oh.
Erin: It wasn't like he was poppin' a Yaz everyday. Anyway, the female hormone is either neutralizing the steroids or he used steroids years ago, his balls shrunk, and now he can't get it up.
Andrea: But why female hormone?
Erin: I don't know. It helps testosterone. It won't like give him a period...he won't be having bleeding from his pee pee.
Convo 2
Erin: I want to take some sidewalk chalk and ride like 'dirty cunt' on the sidewalk in front of her liquor store.
Andrea: Hans likes Macy (name has been changed b/c if this ever happens, I am not being ratted out). She buys drop stops from him.
Erin: Well, I hate her. I'd like her to break her neck again (the bones, not the spinal cord).
Andrea: We went in there to buy some alcohol (to Hans). We look around for like ten minutes for the Tequila. Erin asks her where the tequila is and she's says she's with a customer.
Hans: She was with a customer, Erin.
Erin: That customer had paid. He had paid when we came in there. She was just trying to get some action for her poontang. (pause). Yes, I just said poontang.
Convo 3
At Hacienda North w/ our favorite waitress Lisa.
Lisa: [talking about her daughter Elise] She's a mess.
Andrea: She's cute.
Lisa: She said, 'Mommy, I don't care because I know the real me.
Erin: I know the real me. I like that.
Andrea: The real me, that is pretty good. That's going to be my motto. It's cool b/c I know the real me. You may not, but I do.
Erin: Yep, I know the real me.
A little later at Hacienda
Erin: I'm going to get foamies and we can make like necklaces and and stuff with them.
Andrea: Yeah, we should get a bedazzler and like bedazzle shit. Erin, I want to get one those masks.
Erin: A bumblebee mask? I want the bumblebee hands so I can like put them on and shoot people.
Andrea: Nope, I just want the Optimus mask. And I'll wear it in line.
Erin: That's going to be so great. We're going to all be waiting for Transformers playing cards, making necklaces w/ foamies, and bedazzling out stuff w/ Optimus Prime masks on. That's great.
Then we went to get the IMAX tickets for the 12:01 showing. There was a spotlight. Feeling the delicious effects of the margarita, I run up to the spotlight and put my hand over. It's the Erin signal.
And that's pretty much it. Next time you see the Erin Signal, she'll be rocking bedazzled Tranformers gear! Be prepared!
