Food Baby (n) - 1. A word pertaining to a protruding belly after eating a hefty meal; 2. The mass of food after a heavy meal that forces the belly to expand creating the appearance of being pregnant; 3. A protruding belly after eating a big meal and then sticking a blanket under your belly.
I have used this word for years. In 2006 when I was teaching at Acros, a little girl was walking around patting her stomach. I asked her what was wrong and she said she was full. She had ate breadsticks, a salad, and spaghetti and meatballs for dinner. I told her she had a food baby.
"A food baby?" Andrea asked when I told her about the little girl. And I explained. So when we saw Britney at the VMA with her half-done hair and no Criss Angel, we said: FOOD BABY.
Anyway, this evening...Kind of a last hurrah until I come back from vacation, we did our chicken stir fry. It's delicious. You cut up chicken, marinate it, roll the pieces in flour then sautee the chicken in a skillet in olive oil and we do rice with chicken broth to compliment. And we did rolls. And since I opened the bag resealable bag in a manner befitting a barbarian, we had to cook all ten of the rolls.
Yes, we ate quite well tonight.
And after we were eating, Andrea made a very deep sound and then said, "I've got a food baby," in a manner resembling Fat Bastard from Austin Powers.
And we laughed and reminisced over the first time I introduced Andrea to the word "food baby," and also fugly, another word I swear I piloted back in the grade school days when I wanted desperately to swear. I graduated from fuji (for the f*** bomb) to Fugly (F***ing ugly) and Fungry (F***ing hungry). I also used La Fowfa for food. I was a weird child. Now I'm just play weird,
But back to the food baby...
Andrea, always a genius, picks up a folded blanket and begins to tuck it under her a shirt, a shirt that is form-fitting and tight (they way it is supposed to be) around her midsection.
"You're gonna stretch that out," I told her.
"I don't care," she responds as she struggles to put the blanket under her belly. "It's from Target.
With the blanket properly in place, she than sat on the couch and began to pose for me. I couldn't stop cracking up. My stomach was hurting as I tried to catch my breath. Somehow I managed to ask, "Can I take some pictures?"
Andrea said yes so I ran out to my car and grabbed my camera. And clicked away. It was great. Priceless. I laughed so hard I peed a little.
When we were done, Andrea and I went into her room and I tried on some of her jersey dresses. I tried a pretty yellow one.
"That has hungry ass," Andrea said.
I laughed and sang "Hungry Ass, I look at you and I fantasize, you have Hungry Ass," to the tune of the Dirty Dancing song.
Apparently, the newest phrase the Hobgood Kids have coined, Hungry Ass, means your dress, when you walk, bend over, stand up, wedges itself between your buttcheeks giving you a Melvin. So when you hear of Hungry Ass...thinking of the Hobgood Kids.
And try not to laugh too hard...you'll probably pee a little.
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