“Dirty Santa. Yankee Swap. Well, I think it sounds like fun!” said Michael Scott.
In offices and families, this gift exchange is becoming one popular affair. This Christmas, I played it with my mom’s family and with my dad’s family. My sister went one step further and played it at work.
Having played it several years, this is a list I have compiled of good and bad gifts to give at YANKEE SWAP!
The Good
1. Beer (this goes over good with just about any in attendance. Make sure its Bud, Coors or Miller, the three biggest names around)
2. Gift Card to a sex shop
3. Alcohol (This would be hard alcohol or imported beer)
4. Gift card to a discount or large retail store
5. Decorative glasses to hold alcohol (the females love this stuff)
The Bad
1. A Christmas CD
2. Anything the weird family members come up with
3. Coffee mugs
4. Christmas Ornaments
5. Cheap alcohol
The Ugly
1. A sock hat
2. Nonalcoholic Beer
3. Stocking hangers
4. Piggy Bank w/ boxers in it
5. Donation to a charity
Watching a good game of Yankee Swap unfold tells a lot about the people in it. For instance, to see a Gift Card to a sex shop change hands several times before it finally ends with your uncle can be a little unnerving when you’re 27-years-old and your uncle is a generation or two older.
When there isn’t a lot of alcohol around, it’s interesting to see the alliances formed so parties can get their alcohol. If the beer doesn’t interest you all that much, that doesn’t mean anything, the alcohol will be a bargaining a chip and maybe you can walk away with a gift to a large retailer like Target or Walmart or even one of those pretty decorated martini glasses.
Likewise, a lot can be said about a person who donates things like a sock hat or a Christmas themed item. This screams, I was too lazy to get a gift or that I got this last year and had absolutely no use for it, so I’m regifting it to you knowing full well you will regift it at some point.
A person who brings nonalcoholic beer…well, they probably do not have a soul.
Now, the person who gives you a certificate bearing a charity donation, they can be one of two things: 1. They are one of those do-gooders who are secretly the devil incarnate; or 2. They are the most Supreme Being. How can they be so good they are evil or positively so head of the curve? Well, if they have no sense of humor, they are probably the devil incarnate. But if they are sarcastic, witty, and have watched many episodes of Seinfeld, this probably isn’t so much a chance to make a statement that somewhere people are starving while we “steal” alcohol and sex whips from each other, this is an attempt at humor that is in a class of its own.
Also, the Supreme Being understands that their “gift” is total shit, and is a mask, a beard if you will, for the truly awesome gift they have hidden for the brave soul ready to take their chance on a seemingly empty box.
Yankee Swap.
Can you name a better game? A more “telling” game?
Also, any suggestions for the lists, any “telling” traits of those gifts, will be appreciated!
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