Now, with that little rant out of the way, I have another situation that is beyond my range of comprehension and it all starts with the weather.
I understand that not even the weatherman truly understand the weather. As much as I’d like to think Jim Cantori is a just a weather-telling machine, I do realize he is wrong every now and then…especially when I see him standing outside on a beach when 80 mph hurricane winds are whipping the Florida coast and suddenly a tree branch barrels into him. Knowing that Super Weather-Forecasting Man Cantori can’t accurately predict or understand the weather makes me completely lose hope in ever predicting the weather for myself. I simply try to prepare.
Take today for example. We were supposed to get a half an inch in ice by noon. Knowing my sister was leaving after me and that the temperature was under freezing, I took the initiative and pulled my sister’s car in the garage. Any ice that had formed or was forming on her windshield then melted before she left for work! Preparation!
I like to be prepared. And if you know me, you’re not surprised because I’m one of those planner-types. I carry 3 different calendars with me for work appointments, personal appointments (family, gymnastics, friends), and one that shows me what I’m doing every day (personal and work). So, being prepared isn’t anything new for me. But let’s get back on track….
I woke up today knowing I had a Holiday recruitment party for work. I had previously made flyers that were distributed at three elementary schools before I took a week long vacation. I knew that today I had to go buy supplies for an activity, a video to watch, and snacks.
I came into the office with this game plan ready and answered emails and phone calls, set in on our weekly Monday meeting and did all that jazz then got my things together and went shopping at Michael’s and Walmart for crafts and food.
I get lunch and then come back and sit at my desk to see what these crafts are all about (Ok, maybe to make one for myself) and break out the brand new tube of super glue I just bought. I use the end to pierce the metal stopper and you would’ve thought I’d have just squeezed a huge, giant-sized pimple because all of a sudden, super glue was everywhere! It even dripped onto the ‘T’ and ‘G’ keys.
There is super glue all over my fingers. Seriously, there is super glue on 100% of my digits! Yes, that’s right. ALL of my fingers! So, I go into the kitchen at work, get the dish scrubby and SCRUB, literal SCRUB the fuck out of my fingers. Most of the glue is gone from my thumbs and my pointer fingers, the digits that really did not do well encrusted with super glue. So, while one person can’t allot me .0012% of his time, I have to dedicate like an entire hour (4.1%) of my time to SCRUBBING and picking, and peeling my fingers, 100% of which are covered in some minute way with super glue. So, as I’m picking and peeling, I get a telephone call.
“Oh, Hello,” I said meanwhile picking at my glue-smothered fingers.
“Hi, this is Mrs. Brown from the elementary.” The school were I am supposed to have my party at tonight.
“Hi, Mrs. Brown,” I say and keep picking. I am pretty much 100% focused on picking the glue off my hands and not paying any attention to what she has to say.
“We are canceling the program for tonight,” she tells me.
Canceling. That’s a very halting word and I suddenly stop picking at my fingers. “No, we haven’t decided to cancel it,” I said thinking that surely I have heard wrong and that I did not just brave Michael’s and Walmart, YES Walmart a mere TEN DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS, for a program to be canceled and then get super glue on fingers.
“We’re going to cancel it,” she says.
Some other words are exchanged, but they are pretty much inconsequential to the fact that I went shopping and smeared my hands with super glue for no apparent reason. So, it is now official. I hate my life. Oh! And my ‘T’ and ‘G’ keys are way too disgusting for words.
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