The sister and I rented Twilight this past weekend. Once it was over, Andrea turned to me an admitted that she was even taken in by Edward’s charms.
Ah, Edward…so damn perfect it hurts…and those vampire sex-scenes in book 4! All I can say is that if I ever wanted to be a fictional character it was definitely then! Honestly, though, do I need another excuse to embroil myself in fiction where the men are always the perfect blend of “sensitive sweetie” and “bad, bad boy,” always effortlessly hot, always smart and say the just the right things, and always, always, always fall head over heels for the heroine…
Oh reality, doth thou really mean to be so cruel?
Anyway, because of Edward and other fictional hotties, I decided to put together a list of favorite literary heroes (Sorry, Jack Sparrow, but know that you’ll always be number one in my heart).
10. Luke Brandon (Shopaholic): Any guy who can love the scatter-brained, fashion-obsessed, yet loyal and sweet Becky Bloomwood gets a gold star. And Luke gets several. He’s a smart, successful guy who started his own business and is a rising star in the marketing world. Not only that, but he’s a smart dresser and knows all about Prada! Yet his money and his wardrobe do not speak of a fashion snob or an arrogant jerk. It has an understated elegance that makes Luke so damned cute and even more lovable. And of course, he’s perfectly fine letting the honeymoon last for a year while you both backpack around Europe and Asia. SWOON!
9. Jay Gatsby (The Great Gatsby) – So what if the man dabbled in organized crime (The Kennedys did too), not many people go from poor and impoverished to spectacularly wealthy. And why did he do it? True, he always had a place in his heart for the nicer things in life, but he did it for a woman, the lovely Daisy Buchanan. We love the contradiction that is Gatsby as well. Sure, he dabbles in organized crime and bootlegging, but deep down, he’s still an innocent boy who has naively misplaced his love in Daisy, a married woman not near worth his attentions….so sad, Gatsby when so many other deserving women are nearby!
8. Westley (Princess Bride) – I’m a sucker for swashbucklers and pirates. And with Westley, you get the swashbucking, Dread Pirates Roberts who can handle a sword, beat a giant, and match wits with the most intelligent men in the world. Maybe it’s the storyline of men trying to prove themselves to their lady loves, but then there is the whole pirate thing. Or it could be the way he so debonairly beat Prince Humperdink while lacking the strength to stand (death does tend to slow a person down). Either way, he’s one man I would live with in the Fire Swamp until the end of time.
7. Rhett Butler (Gone With the Wind) – What’s not to love about the handsome, suave, debonair, scoundrel with a thing for lost causes. We love to see him try to win over Scarlet’s affections, love to see him fighting off the enemy, and you know that when he said “Frankly, my dear, I don’t have give a damn,” that you secretly cheered and wished he was real so he could move on to you. Not only that, but Rhett is smart and well-educated and a great father and stepfather. And the money and gifts he showers Scarlet with? Why wouldn’t anyone be gone with the wind from Rhett’s attentions and affections!
6. Edmond Dantes aka The Count of Monte Cristo (The Count of Monte Cristo) – Alexander Dumas knows exactly what women want, so its kind of a toss-up between D’Artagnan of the Three Musketeers or Captain Dantes. I chose the Count because I didn’t want Porthos, Athos, and Aramis upset and asking what about them. So the checklist for the count: Senstive? Check. Handsome? Check? Down-to-Earth? Check. Ambitious? Check. Moral? Double check! But nothing can be sexier than a tale of betrayal and revenge and that’s where Captain Dantes really begins to show his mettle. He survives prison to escape and with the help of an old inmate, finds a treasure of immeasurable value and fashions himself the Count of Monte Cristo. The rest of the story is a tale of a man who was beaten down to the lowest of rungs, only to spring back and get his revenge. The thing that I find the best about The Count is even though he was moral and good, he wasn’t that moral good and was able to get down with his betrothed before his incarceration and not brag about it! How’s that for gentlemanly ways! And okay…So maybe I have a thing for swashbucklers. But really, can you honestly tell me that if a man swung in from a chandelier to slay the bad guys, you’d find him repulsive?
5. Ok, they may have died long ago, but the world has not forgotten those gorgeous, muscular, sharp Greek men like Odysseus, Achilles, and my personal favorite, Hector. They were loved and blessed by the Gods and their actions and were put down in writing by Homer, freeing their spirits from the River Styx and thus finally immortalizing them (because really, these men are way too hot to be forgotten in death). True, there are many more, but the main ones, Hector, the loyal husband, son, and responsible future king of Troy, Odysseus, the sly, cunning King of Ithaca who helped deliver Achilles to the Greeks and taught us that we should look a gift horse in the mouth (because we might see enemy soldiers ready to sack our kingdom), and Achilles…the beautiful, arrogant, damn-near-perfect favorite of Athena’s…honestly…what’s not to love?
4. Joe Morelli (Stephanie Plum series) – Women love the bad boy, and no man is badder than Joe Morelli, secretive vice cop in Trenton, N.J. who can be a real thorn in our side when he keeps us in the dark. But with his looks and libido, women would gladly let him get away with murder if it meant a night with his skills that are legendary in The Burg. An even nicer bonus? Age has started to tame the once wild-man who claimed fearless bounty hunter, Steph’s, virginity in the pastry shop she worked at in high school. If only he’d settle down with us! Ah, Morelli with those swiveling hips and that nice tight ass, we hate to see you leave, but we love to watch you go!
3. Edward Cullen (The Twilight series) – You knew Edward would have to be on this list. It’s as my sister: “He’s like a creepy stalker, but a creepy stalker you want to keep around because he’s so hot, sensitive, and protective.” I thought the same thing when Edward admitted to watching Bella fall asleep, but with as accident prone as Bella is, is it any wonder that the immortal hottie would worry about his then very mortal true love? And let’s be honest, inviting that sexy vamp into our rooms every night to share a bed with us? Well, he wouldn’t exactly have to beg me. But, there’s so much more to Edward…he’s well-educated and graduated from numerous Ivy League colleges (what else are going to do when you’re stuck looking seventeen for the rest of time), sensitive, a musical prodigy (he’ll gladly write songs about you), yet strong and ready to protective you literally until the end of time. And if he loses you? Well, he just doesn’t see any sense in going on if he has to live without his true love. So romantic!
2. Mr. Darcy (Pride and Prejudice) – If you haven’t heard of Mr. Darcy, I suggest you crawl out from under the rock you’ve been under and get in the know! He is the quintessential man! True, he’s wealthy and feels somewhat born to certain social graces which makes him a bit haughty and arrogant, but he learns from all of that. And anyway, isn’t it Darcy’s imperfections that endear him to us? How he says the wrong thing when he proposes…it humbles him…and still…once he falls for headstrong Elizabeth Bennet, he can’t help but show her his devotion and prove he is worthy of her. A woman could only be lucky. And of course, there is that whole lake swimming scene…Ah, lovely!
1. Sir Percy Blakeney aka The Scarlet Pimpernel (The Scarlet Pimpernel series) – The all time love of my life! There isn’t much this Renaissance Man can’t do. He’ll sweep you off you feet, entertain the King and Queen, tie a perfect cravat, and rescue The Dauphin from The Tower all in a day’s work. Incredibly built and muscular and skilled with a sword, you don’t have to worry about needing rescuing with him around! And if you do, don’t worry, because he plays an awesome spy with that cunning, intelligent brain that always seem to be one step of ahead of those “demmed” Frenchies. And once you’ve been rescued and secreted across the Channel, you’ll sit down to dinner with the King and Queen’s favorite English aristo, because really everyone loves this irresistible fop. And as if that wasn’t enough, the man is titled and rich, plus, he’s a perfect gentleman, an English mother’s fantasy! Oh, to be Lady Marguerite, if only for a day!
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